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LINGUISTIC SOCIAL DEFENCE JOCKEYS

INTRODUCTION


How may a humble wordsmith take on the global military industrial complex as ones subject, and how can we prepare and deploy non-violent strategies for a new language of resistance? The ‘Linguistic Social Defence Jockeys’, take steps to create dialogue, feedback, cussin’ and discussion. Which metaphors shall we invoke to be in our service?

Through the exercise of writing out some neologisms I also aspire to define my position on the matters of warfare, military budget, the surveillance and spy industries and governments and private military contractors all in bed together committing unspeakable devilish sex acts. To be blunt I think they’re fucking us, they being the surveillance and war industry, top to bottom Wall Street to Bagdad, the bankers, law makers, contractors, technical developers, programmers, and assembly workers and those who push the button to engage these weapons of war. Not to forget the News vultures and publishers and multi-media wing of this sordid operation, cleansing warfare of its implicit devastation and horror, turning into another crusade of good against evil, law against lawlessness, and often invoking God as their major supporter and sponsor for such invasions, attacks and assassinations.

Such a monstrosity as the Global Military Media Industrial Intelligence complex seems like, to use a metaphor, Tiamat; the many headed dragon, a real fire breathing shit-kicking monster dragon, stomping about the planet causing massive destruction and loss of life. And then we have the growing non-violent resistance, the new breed of cyber-magicians, fighting such Dragons from a decentralized platform, burrowing into the deep substructure of the language used to project the mighty dragon, the mighty war machine. And maybe, by simply sharing the tools and manuals for this deep language substructure we can totally transform warfare, somewhat back into an Art form, an Art form in which nobody has to die, least not the innocent civilians and those who are not in the fight.

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A brochure of new and innovative LSDJ un-security technology and research presented on behalf of humanitarian poetics, hilaritas, claritas and integritas.

HISTORY


  • 1940’s Naz' War Machine. Paperclip People.

  • 1950’s Manchuria Mash Up. MK Hyperpowick.

  • 1960’s Bay of whigs thing. Nixon Bugging.

  • 1970’s Coin-tellypro.

  • 1980’s IRA5 waltz. Pee Two .

  • 1990’s Iraq Bosnia Equipment. Eschalon.

  • 2000’s Al Kida CIFacebook. TIA.

  • 2010’s Tunisia Libya Wall Street. NDAA.

[more earth based images, cross hairs over major cities, large dragons and lizards stomping across planet earth carrying cell phones, see to be calling the police about suspicious activity. Monkeys are doing the same.]
LSDJ Territories:

Europe, Africa, America’s, Middle East, Australasia, Saharasia
[picture of earth, and a large tongue licking it]

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CODE OF CONDUCT


“The price of Eternal Warfare is Existence” –Frater Perdurabo.

Linguistic Social Defence jockey’s expect that its tenderers, contractors, suppliers and their employees and subcontractors will all be guided by this Code of Conduct.

Industry can expect relationships with Defence to be friendly, unless they happen to be within the fallout zone or radius of our lethal weapons. In which case we are very very sorry.

  • Deliver value for money, money for value. Value in toxicity.
  • Honest behaviour, integrity and clarity, unless instructed otherwise.
  • Treat everyone with respect and coutesy without coercion or harassment, unless.
  • Comply with as many LAWS as one see’s proper.
  • Maintain appropriate confidentiality unless the bribe seems worthy.
  • Not make improper use of insider information. i.e., insider trading and deals.
  • Respect the Environment.
  • Acount for decisions and actions.
  • Comply with conduct requirements and a Gentleman’s Anarchist.

SPECIALIST SERVICES AND PRODUCTS


Air Weapons, Burrp!
Biomadical Silencers
Detection distracter
Cracker tracker.

Environmental Silencers
Join Enemy with Joint Strategies
Band Battlespace Systems

Un-securing Secure Security
Under the counter measures
Making sense of sensors.

Pocket Rocket Cockets
Dirty Bum/road side bum
Ass Mask.
Love Bullets – Bulleyetts

Fire Arms
Hextheshit Missiles
Armored Wank
Willy Terry

Radar Vader
Saw Robots
Well Hung Grenade
Hand Lemonade

Meat Seeker Missile
Character Armour piercing rounds
Cock truncheons
Peppermint Spray

Hellicockters
Lifted Surveillance
Titalites and Boob Scopes

Mayhem Monitoring Systems,
Spammer Jammer Systems,
Audio Surveillance Speakers

Counter-Counter Surveillance,
Encryption, Erection Detection,
IT security and forensic.

VIP protection,
Video Game Surveillance,
spy training equipment, schedules,
Money tracking,
Mutant surveillance vehicles,
recorders, bagpipes, cymbols.

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CATCHPHRASES


LSDJ WORKING THE BIGGEST AND BADDEST
IN CLANDESTINE LAW ENFORCEMENT AND
INTER-GALACTIC INTEL-TALE SYSTEMS.

Use software to track and identify
potential flash points, foreign uprisings
and rebellions, riots local and foreign.
Drug trafficking enterprises. Hacking plots.

Now you have the power to place your bets and throw fuel to the fire, exchange arms for land, missiles for minerals and chemical weapons for social services, fair trade, don’t you think?

The best in mapping systems. Communications. Power management. Upmost confidentiality and customer bribery. Safe as fuck my brothers.

Our solutions pirate Military, Law Enforcement, Federal, Reconnaissance, Intelligence, Security, and Killingry and Livingry software and hardware. We can make Zyklon B smell like red Bull to a French wino, mustard Gas feel like Michael Jordon Cologne on your skin, and we make Uranium taste like Heineken.

Are you a rich CEO of the 1%, do you run shit and want to keep an all seeing eye on those below you, those inferior scum bags? Don’t you want to see them motherfuckers plotting to steal your stationary?

Remember the UK riots of 2011? do you want that to happen again in your own street and to your business? Do you want your windows kicked in by yobs and all your shit nicked? Followed by a happy slapping, rape and maybe death by stab wounds to the neck? Well you can prevent this with our racial profiling and DNA database info tool.

Compare some peasant’s data fields and draw the class divide, see where the scumbags breed, where the immigrants really come from and then neutralize the problem with napalm (now on sale until the end of 2011).

That’s right sonny, just blow the shit out anyone who pisses you off and get rid of the problem just like that. Phlump-eeeEEEEiiii-BaaaaAAANG. 100’000 people have died in Vietnam from land mines and other such gifts from developing nations, since the END of the war. Considering such future scenarios and profit systems based on hidden mines is our special job.

Why not have figures and facts presented upon your government office wall, listing such things as the number of limbs removed by the product, the number of orphans made by our intelligence and the number in square meters of the earth’s surface made uninhabitable by our creativity!

Do you want one of your employees to be the next Bradley Manning? Or have your dirty fucking secrets spread all over facebook like peanut butter? I didn’t think so, and so luckily for you we have been working with all your favourite spooks to combat anything, anything at all, that might be happening without you knowing about it.

YES YOU can handle pre-crime technologies and racial profiling and DNA databases, their security and the responsibility to the global pantheon of Gods and mythical beings.

Yes you can wade through the thousands of texts that proclaim spying on your neighbour is bad, and still continue to order from us and bug your whole fucking street. Who knows what they’re up to over there at number 10? those late night deliveries and the RAP music and uncontrollable laughter. They must be planning the next Jihad right here in your own damn street, who would have thought it? right here in your own neighbourhood, even now, under your big nose, criminals stalk and prey on the innocent, and even kill without blinking from a distance, that’s why you have to keep track of all moving bodies within a 400 meter radius at least, using our SNOOPGOD systems.

Be really really really sure motherfuckers aren’t gonna’ jump your ass while you’s mowing the lawn or fixing the fence or something like that. Can you imagine? And do you think old Mavis from number 7 will rescue you, no hope! Click here to go to the store NOW, purchase some spy shit and feel what its like to have your own all-seeing eye.

Our brochure of new and innovative unsecurity technologies and research is presented on behalf of humanitarian poetics and hilaritas, claritas and integritas.

Our products have been carefully designed to jive with second circuit metaphors of aural/anal territorial fixations and literally really kick ass. So get your butt over to the store and pick yourself up some spy shit and begin exploiting the good nature of people, we think good nature is the next boom industry and our products are so fucking good in their remote interception of this abundant force that not even the Churches and organized religion can offer anywhere near as bad-ass a deal as we do.

We all know there’s something fishy going on out there, foreigners plotting to steal your jobs, your house and its belongings, your wife or your 17 year old daughter, so why not get to the bottom of it and buy some of our broad internet traffic interception technologies? For fucks sake, they might be in your house right now, hiding in the bathroom or behind the curtains, think about it, don’t you want to track everyone’s every move, especially the foreigner’s and longhairs, and the wife and kids of course, and the grandparents too in case they stray off, they do that you know.

Yes, we have it all at our one stop shop. And we can even link you with special agents in 150 countries who’ll be happy to walk you through step by step as you begin spying, monitoring and targeting your own family, your friends and anybody who else who might seem suspicious, such as a kid in a hoody, smokers, and/or the unshaven. As for your enemies, they’ll wish you never got your hands on this brochure.

Be aware like a Hawk God, get in control of your own drone spy plane. Make the King happy with your wickedness and the Princes delight with your lies. Be a snitch, drop em’ in the shit, we’re only buggin’ as we like to say.

Crime, insider threats, insurgency, espionage or just plain terrorism, we have the solution for you and your tribe. Track, file, watch, listen, smell and compare with our latest Global Crime Hacking Quizz, the perfect addition to any board meeting, or after work drinking session.

Delivering security, intelligence, and poetry information to law enforcement agencies and the military industrial complex since Noel Bell first created modern munitions and started killing more and more people in less and less time.

The world’s leading Killingry agencies and law enforcement bitches use lots of our shit, so get straight right now, click here, go to our store and order some fancy weapons, spy shit or some simple explosives and just go nuts.

You know you want to be like your favourite TV cops, spooks, forensic porn-stars and James Bond like hunks, here’s your chance. Get stuck in bruva. Bug a car, a room or yourself today, pay nothing until you get yourself your first conviction using COPPIECE (criminal Operational Police Persecution Interrogation Eavesdropping Cop Exit). You’ll wish you started spying when you were a baby when you feel that first rush of sending some scum bag to jail for life over some devil weed or bad words like cocksucker or fucking cunt face.

Did you ever just want to blow the crap out of the asses of fuckers who interrupt your shopping at Christmas time? LSDJ can help you to realize that wish by taking you on a remote journey to Iraq, Afghanistan, maybe Pakistan or Iran where you can pilot one of them peace drone craft. That’s right, we provide the means for you to handle the joystick and fly all kinds of metal and teeth and nails into the homes and work place of mostly unsuspecting individuals, watch them explode in a red flash on the screen, that we also provide free of charge.

LSDJ even provides a ring and ride and fire service where we come to your house in a special van, you climb inside and from there, just guide them babies home to the target. We swear that after a flying drone mission you’ll consider buying your own drone craft from our new and exciting range.

Our specialist partners are ruthless pirates from a crafty breed and long line of tricksters. With our partners we can build whatever you like, either from scratch or from pirate material made from existing devices and software. We deliver whatever you want. We want YOU. We want your live feed and your data-set, we want to eat your brains and spit out the bones of intelligence.

Use our shit to kick the asses of criminal bummers, you can become the special forces operations, chief of Rural surveillance, buster of Terrorist Sleeper cells and Human cross town trafficking, Illegal surfers, and all kinds of serious disorganized crime. You’ll love it.

Cellular Interception Agency antics, Anti Narcotics, Border crossing scallywags, personal protection services, handbag theft, flight school infiltration, book repository occupations, global security analysis and testing failures.

Our tracking and tricking devices are available in all sizes, and to be used on tiny things or big stuff, cars, street lamps, bikes, trains, trams, buses, everything can be bugged if you like, and our shit is built for rapid, covert deployment. Faster than light.

We use all terrestrial and existing satellite communications and give you the choice of where you want to listen, watch or smell in. You pick and choose like a kid in a candy shop, if you got the cash. If not you better throw away this brochure now. Better yet. Burn it.

We love R & D and manufacturing Killingry and spy ware, we do, we just revel in snooping and watching from a distance and just making the technology better and then giving it to fascist dictatorships, we just live for it, we love to sell to the most active, militaristic and tense, parts of the globe, we find they actually use the shit we make, rather than pussyfoot around parading bombs and soldiers, use them, spy, Kill. Rewind.

we make that shit and we make it for the baddest motherfuckers on the planet more than 180 intelligence agencies, plus more corps and Ltd’s than Donald Trumps turkey list. For more go to: www.Fuckyouyoufatgreedyfuckingwarmongering assholes.com/Trump.

We work with the Mafia, we work with the Vatican, we work with the CIA, MI5, the Church of Scientology and we work with any other satanic intelligence outfit the world has, we invite them all into our legion of creativity and poetic exorcism in league with a Dennis Wheatly thriller. Excommunicated Viral Intelligence Legion. The Lingua Defence Reasearch Agency works with the richest, most savage, back stabbing, gangster, dictatorial, wild, dangerous and Jihadist clients the world has yet to produce.

At the moment we are the only real choice, I mean, we run shit anyhow, so sooner or later you’ll end up giving us some cash, so why not now, buy a tank, a gun or a virus making tool kit to take down a local Hospital or school where somebody may have wronged you, or maybe scramble the bank details of a charity that’s helping those third world terrorists develop their infrastructure, and so develop more little insurgents and terrorist, little tinkers and mischievous buggers, nip that in the bud.

Visit and Chemical Biological warfare section and have a field day, imagine treating people like pesky little insignificant insects and then just eradicating them, puff, like that! LSDJ has what you want. Lethal strategic Killingry that’s cheap easy to use and that knows no international boundaries in its deployment. Happy 2012 motherfuckers!

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GLOSSARY OF TERMS


  • DARKA (Defence Agency Rhetoric Killer Agency)

  • FUKINETIQ (Fast Ultra Killer Intel Network Ink Quantum)

  • ODERA (Odour Defence Evaluation Research Ass)

  • DISTL (Defence Ink Systems Totally Lethal)

  • GAMMA (Gonzo Alphabet Machine Meme Ass.)

  • TELEHO (Total Evasive Lethal Eavesdropping Headquarters Orafice.)

  • BAEE (British Ass. Eavesdropping Enterprises.)

  • DETCIA (Dept. English Treason’s Central Intel Agency)

  • RIMM (Rectal Intercept Management Marketing)

  • NOKIA (Network Operations Kinetic Intel Ass.)

  • MIHA (Military Intel Hacking Ass.)

  • APPLE (Ass. Professional Private Lethal Eavesdropping.)

  • CIA (Central Interruption Ass.)

  • NISA (National Insecurity Systems Agency)

  • GCHFUQ (Gonzo Chaos Headquarters for unkle Q)

  • CULTR (Creativity Under Lethal Trapdoor Research)

  • SOFOS (Science Operations For Oversized Suckers)

  • COBEM (Cyber-Optics British Eavesdropping Machine)

  • KGB (Kinetic Greed Bureau)

  • GOOGLE (Gobble Our Output Gabble Like Earwicker)

  • WIKI (Weapons Interception King Immortal)

  • HOW (HUMANE OBLIVION WEAPONS)

  • ETS (ETHICAL TORTURE SURVEILLANCE)

  • DEOAD (Department Executive Of Anarchist Defence)

  • DEFAC (Defecate Ethics and Freud Awareness Campaign)

  • NDAA (National Defence Artist Anarchist)

  • IMP (Intercept Meme Protocol)

  • HTSII (Hidden Tryptamine Soliloquy Intel Intercept)

  • FFII (Finnegans Finders IT Iearwicker.)

  • IT (Institution Tricknology)

  • MYKLSFT (Military Y Kill Language Systems For Tossers)

  • ADHD (Anal Defence Headquarters Department)

  • PISS (Peace Intercept simulation systems)

  • MDMA (McDonalds Drug Machine Agency)

  • LSD (Lobal Surveillance Dept.)

  • KGB (Kinetic Greed Bureau)

  • EVIL (Excommunicated Viral Intelligence Legion)

  • HIV (Hacking Immunity Vanguard)

  • BBNS (Big Belly Naval Strategies)

  • HWS (Hair Weapon Systems)

  • SIEMONSTER (Selling Information and Eavesdripping Monster)

  • COPPIECE (criminal Operational Police Persecution Interrogation Eavesdropping Cop Executive)

  • FCKHEED (Fuckhead Martin)

  • PYN (Pytheon)

  • MDD (McDonalds Douglass Dildo)

  • SNOOPGOD (So Now Our Open Panic Got Over Done)

  • FAITH (Foreign Allness Inside The Head)

PISS (Peace Intercept simulation systems) real time simulations of probable and past peaceful attacks on authority and threats to the man. See with your own eyes what would become of the vast concrete, glass and steel wonderland we inhabit, if peace were to infect the operating systems of civilization.

MERCHANDISE


  • Land-Mine Headphones

  • Torture Tool kit and life sized torture dummies

  • Ethical Torture T-Shirts

  • Model Drone Aircraft (Remote version also available)

  • Toasty Toes Torture Socks

  • LSDJ Calendar 2012

  • “DECAPITATE UNETHICAL KILLING” Sports Caps.

  • “Fake Camera Action” glasses cases.


2012 PRODUCTS AND SERVICES


Is this the end? The apocalypse you suspected all along? Well shit, you better get over to our LSDJ store and pick up your tool kit for survival through 2012 featuring.

  • 2012 Calendar featuring Galactic alignments, Eclipses and Full moons Maps 2012.
  • Mayan chants and protective hymns song book.
  • Magnetic Pole reversal model globe (with optional ‘Ice’ machine to help visualize the great freeze).
  • Mayan Pyramid Tea-Bags.

CONTACT


LSDJ
3693 PENGUIN PLACE
GALAPAGOS ISLANDS
PACIFIC.

0011 76796797
WWW.LSDJ.MIL
E-MAIL: INFO@LSDJ.NET